Dear Friends,
I’ve written a letter, and my life has changed!
I’m not reading the newspapers nor checking the internet, yet everybody is talking to me about these things, this is exactly what I was running away from. I decided to explain this to you in a more friendly way.
In the letter, I got carried away with the temptation of literature and used the metaphor “last suicide attack”, and people thought that I was to commit suicide, and for music? No, that’s too much. My uncle called me, my relatives called me, my friends called me, they were all really worried. Even people started saying “Teoman please make music again”. Please do not exaggerate.
The word attack was just a symbol, and probably it was going to ruin me neurotically and financial; and I realized that this was not my real issue.
People thought I was offended by the music and arts World. No I am not. But I’m angry at the path that the Turkish music market has taken. It has to change completely. This is not my problem anymore, but I warn the ne musicians to be careful, both music comprehension and the music World are in a difficult situation.
This is the situation: when you continuously postpone a normal life, and when fame is stuck with you, when your life is on loop, you get bored. The life you’re living has no change, and you keep working for a standard life that has become habitual for you. The conditions in Turkey are not improving and you get mad, and market his problem an obsession for you.
I have a problem that I’ve taken complete blame for. I realized that I’ve been doing this since I’ve known myself, my problem is that I was not able to recognize the fact that I’m obsessed with this being an artist/musician issue. I had lots of problems and desires that I couldn’t make come true, so I hid those with art. In addition to these, I don’t believe that I can give more to this music, I’ve just understood this, after all this time.
For a very long time, I’ve been talking about things that I want to do, except for music, both to myself and to my friends, I’ve been saying that I’ll do this. But it’s been such a long time, I don’t even believe that myself anymore.
I guess I’m writing really messy right now, so I’ll give you the bullet points:
A man like me
……who’s done 9 albums, who has taken being an artist for serious since his childhood, who has worked a lot and suffered…
….. who’s cried blood, sweat and tears in his songs with the temptation of literature….
….. who’s already done all that he could….
…… who does not believe that he can find new music styles, who can compose new songs and he has no will for such thing….
….who’s bored of fame, and who admires his friends that are living a normal and relaxing life….
…. Who looks into the future, and with the path that music market has taken, sees himself in 10 years as an artist who gives concerts just with the aid of the sponsors, who is very repelling and greedy ….
….. who is very annoyed by the fact that people that he is disgusted by can use his name just because he is famous….
…. And who can write many more bullet points like this …..
I am quitting music
My response to those who says “you could’ve given it a break” is this: this job takes an important part of my life. Not because of Money but because of its meaning to me, it is my only love. If I don’t take a final decision, I’m so in love with it that I can trick myself again. This love – habit – is possibly a need for fame, this will make me seem very ugly to myself in the future, and I am refusing this. This is not because of the respect that I have to myself but to my songs. I love them and this is how I’m protecting them.
In the meanwhile I’m protecting myself as well. I’ll be honest with you, in a very short amount of time, I lost two people in my life that I really love. When I could not deal with this pain, I did what I’ve always done and tried to find relief in music. But it seems really difficult now. It will be more difficult in the future also. I regret the time that I could not spend with them.
From now on I want to spend more time with the people I love. I’ve done songs, and they’re there. If people listen to them, live them, if these songs live with those people, I’ll be very happy.
But just because of habitude, just to give concerts and just to stay in the game, I will not get myself messy, because it’s very dirty in the field right now.
So this is what the situation is. That’s why I’m saying there is no need to exaggerate.
I have two concerts that I’m looking up to, and I’m giving my last concert in 3rd of September.
And after that I’m getting retired. I’ll be doing things that I haven’t done that I’ve been longing for. But for the youth, I’m strongly advising music. It’s a great feel, to compose a song, to sing and to play that..
And i have a favor to ask from you, i do not want my last concert to be dramatized, please. I’m going after another life now. I’m okay, I’ve composed songs, and I’ll be playing them to myself from now on, or maybe to a couple of friends
PS: I’ll be very happy if people would leave me alone.